I hate your face
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
