yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
