Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
