dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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