I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
