I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I look excited, but its just a facade.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
