oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
