Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You may now shotgun with the bride
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
