So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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