It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
the condom got lost in my hair
I am spending my child support on dildos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize