Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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