Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
