Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
