Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
