I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
This house was built for laser tag.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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