and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
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