Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I want her autograph on my taint
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
