would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
