I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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