the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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