This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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