areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
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I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
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True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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