I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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