There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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