You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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