I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
