so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
