I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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