I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
NoShamevember. You game?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
