no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize