I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
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tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
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His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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