What a fucking waste of an outfit
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
