Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
