honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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