Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
