i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
