The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
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