If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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