have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
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