i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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