Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
