He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
