Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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