we have officially lost it.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
