I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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