Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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