the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
