i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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