I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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