I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
