She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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