Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
