I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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