I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
