saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
