The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
