it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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