I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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