Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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