thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
the liver wants what the liver wants
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
