A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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