i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
