we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
