i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
