very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
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