Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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