Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
