two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
