first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
