I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
