yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
